Social Commentary: Starbucks Feeds Dorks

Why do people carry their triple shot ventis around with them as though it is some badge of honor? Just because you ordered an outlandish dollop of caffeine doesn't make you cool, successful or important. I know what you're thinking triple shot macchiato man, bragging about how you haven't had anything to eat today and how you're SO TIRED from the all-nighter you pulled last night. Go ahead: gulp that hot beverage as though you can't feel it scalding the roof of your mouth. Your office crush doesn't really give a shit about the Power Point you've got due in like 2 seconds, but she would prefer it if you'd redirect your skanky coffee breath away from her face so she can hoof it into the elevator without you.